I am leaving today to go back to Amsterdam (finally).

I've been feeling pretty bad lately. Among other things, I seriously think I might have agoraphobia. I hardly left the house the last week cause I was too scared, or something, a few times I started to cry just thinking about it. Then, when I finally did get out, I felt so overwhelmed since all the roads are so so so long and then signs everywhere that say stuff and are in different colours and generally just make me confused and frightened.

My parents think I am crazy and probably they are right. I know they are worried about me going back because they told me, we are worried about you going back.

But how can I explain, without being insulting, that I am not nearly as crazy when I am living on my own?

And also, I feel bad for being an asshole friend since I hardly returned anyone's phone calls during my period of hibernation. :(